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Wednesday, March 3, 2010

The Monster in me

We go through several states during the day, and they can vary from excitement to hunger, sadness, happiness, numbness, complete focus on something,angry, warm, cold, etc...
But none of the above even compares to the state we go through trying wake up in the morning! A complete irrational, stupid and destructive monster emerges in you during this period of 0 to 30 minutes after u wake up! At least that's what's happening to me...

This post wake up version of me can do very bad things like :

  • Getting me fired from my job or sending my resignation as a message while I'm still in bed
  • Wish for an explosion to happen somewhere close which would force me to stay in bed
  • Emerging love of thunderstorms and extensive rain that can be a good alibi to why I'm still in bed
  • Give me a reason to break up with my boyfriend if I had to chose between him and 2 seconds 5 more minutes of sleep
  • Make me ignore interests generated from late payments I have to do right away
  • Ignore the fact that I'll be stuck in a 3 hr traffic if I don't move that second I'm fighting
  • Make me deaf so that I don’t hear the alarm and its horrible horrible snoozes
  • Ignore the fact that I might become friend-less if I missed out on a promise to meet my friend at the gym or anywhere else in the morning or afternoon
  • Ignore the fact that I'm visiting another country and that the bed is not my destination and that I should be HAVING FUN and TAKING PICTURES instead of sleeping
  • Convince myself that i'm really sick and to recover i should go into "energy saving mode"

And what's weird is that this new addiction resurrects and acts heavily every now and then. It doesn't disappear totally but it becomes more or less of a normal transitional behavior between bed and reality.
And I'd like to know what triggers it because that strong struggle I have with myself in the morning is sooooo exhausting and the moment I get out of bed I could just collapse and go to sleep again!
I try to blame it on the cold weather since we're in winter but it's rarely "rainy cold want to stay in bed weather" (advertising a previous post about the weather)
I could blame it on the time I go to bed but I sometimes sleep early so that I think I will wake up smoothly, but doesn't happen
I blame it on the alarm ringtone but if I change the tone, my brain stops acknowledging it even rang
I try to tell myself before I sleep that I will wake up easier the next morning but it doesn't work
I blamed it on the lack of sleep in my routine, yet when you spend a whole week sleeping all the remaining time that you're not at work, at the gym, driving or eating, the issue still holds.

So, in the end, I came up to the conclusion that well I'm sleepoholic and I guess I need to work on my addiction. The how remains unanalyzed but the fact that I'm admitting it is supposed to enlighten me to solve it.


  1. Sarcasm is a state during the day?!?!

  2. No of course not! what makes you ask this weird weird question?

    (sorry ma kenit bi ma7alla, thx for pointing it out)