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Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Bringing back the basket...

So i'm back! Haven't been blogging for a while (obviously), haven't even been checking my blog either (yeah, sad but true)
But it seriously feels like the Back to School phase where you have to pick up where you left off before summer started : organization, work, sleep, gym, healthy living, savings,layers of clothes which i merely replaced with the sun and alcohol.
Summer of 2010 was a remarkable summer! So many events, so many people, lots of alcohol and fun nights! Summer has always been my favorite season, as it brings so much energy in you (i think the sun alone is enough) and it breaks the dull routine.

The signs are so obvious even if you would want to ignore them:
  • Back to school ads (that still gives me the chills)
  • The school bus (which i don't usually see because i start work late but i hear about it from the traffic people around me are going through)
  • College students go back (and this i feel because now i can't find a parking place in the campus where i work)
  • Less and less visitors and foreigners
  • More home related advertisements
  • People move back to the city
  • Peak traffic hours return to be hours and not ALL WEEK!
  • Early sunsets
The list can go on forever...Even though it seems depressing ,dull and traumatizing for me, yet i love the change because it implies that time has come to rest, reorganize your daily routine, plans and create new challenges (maybe go back to the gym?).
Bottom line, i'm excited and back to blogging (since evidently there will be more nagging)

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Recipe for Schizophrenia

Today i reveal the real reason why schizophrenia starts for some people. It's so easy and simple and you can notice results right away.
It starts with three simple ingredients:

1. Decide to quit Smoking
2. Start a diet
3. Go to the gym daily

The moment you add any of those ingredients, you start to meet new people. You can go for all three simultaneously to get faster and more permanent results.

Lets start with the first ingredient: decide to quit smoking and you instantly have two personalities manipulating you and representing you in public:
You # 1: convincing you that you're so happy with the new you that you don't need the cigarettes anymore and starts to preach about how good it feels to be a none smoker and that no matter what you're never gonna be a smoker ever again!
You # 2: shows up on day 6, after it gave you the joy of feeling you accomplished something...and starts by convincing you that it might be the time for one cigarette! You smoke it and realize that you're still you and that you're still a non smoker!!

Both versions of you starts interacting on a daily basis and the struggle and conversions in your head start to be more frequent.

And then a 3rd personality emerges which is
You # 3 convincing you that you need to start a diet since you're snacking a lot and since the clash between You # 1 and You # 2 is like politics in Lebanon, it's gonna take a while before one wins over the other!

This new version of you doesn't interfere with You # 1 or You # 2 but it helps create the 4th personality which is You # 4 (obviously) which keeps postponing diets to Mondays or at least the following day and convinces you that you can eat whatever you want today.
Now imagine what happens when you're hungry and want to eat something... you have 4 versions of you talking in your head about what to eat and whether  you should have a cigarette right after you eat or not!

So, a
You # 5 joins the battle (which is inspired by my friend Tarek) holding the perfect solution...Go to gym!! By going to the gym, you smoke less and eat less and lose weight! Well it's not so easy because then You # 6 has to have an appearance, and pushes you to keep postponing gym. If you make it there, it convinces you that you can eat since you've burnt what you ate earlier and that you deserve a cigarette too! Well to be fair the first 4 personalities also take part in the discussion!

And here you go, you created 6 personalities in less than a week.

Who said it's not fun being crazy...
(It's so much fun by the way, you never feel lonely)


Wednesday, March 3, 2010

The Monster in me

We go through several states during the day, and they can vary from excitement to hunger, sadness, happiness, numbness, complete focus on something,angry, warm, cold, etc...
But none of the above even compares to the state we go through trying wake up in the morning! A complete irrational, stupid and destructive monster emerges in you during this period of 0 to 30 minutes after u wake up! At least that's what's happening to me...

This post wake up version of me can do very bad things like :

  • Getting me fired from my job or sending my resignation as a message while I'm still in bed
  • Wish for an explosion to happen somewhere close which would force me to stay in bed
  • Emerging love of thunderstorms and extensive rain that can be a good alibi to why I'm still in bed
  • Give me a reason to break up with my boyfriend if I had to chose between him and 2 seconds 5 more minutes of sleep
  • Make me ignore interests generated from late payments I have to do right away
  • Ignore the fact that I'll be stuck in a 3 hr traffic if I don't move that second I'm fighting
  • Make me deaf so that I don’t hear the alarm and its horrible horrible snoozes
  • Ignore the fact that I might become friend-less if I missed out on a promise to meet my friend at the gym or anywhere else in the morning or afternoon
  • Ignore the fact that I'm visiting another country and that the bed is not my destination and that I should be HAVING FUN and TAKING PICTURES instead of sleeping
  • Convince myself that i'm really sick and to recover i should go into "energy saving mode"

And what's weird is that this new addiction resurrects and acts heavily every now and then. It doesn't disappear totally but it becomes more or less of a normal transitional behavior between bed and reality.
And I'd like to know what triggers it because that strong struggle I have with myself in the morning is sooooo exhausting and the moment I get out of bed I could just collapse and go to sleep again!
I try to blame it on the cold weather since we're in winter but it's rarely "rainy cold want to stay in bed weather" (advertising a previous post about the weather)
I could blame it on the time I go to bed but I sometimes sleep early so that I think I will wake up smoothly, but doesn't happen
I blame it on the alarm ringtone but if I change the tone, my brain stops acknowledging it even rang
I try to tell myself before I sleep that I will wake up easier the next morning but it doesn't work
I blamed it on the lack of sleep in my routine, yet when you spend a whole week sleeping all the remaining time that you're not at work, at the gym, driving or eating, the issue still holds.

So, in the end, I came up to the conclusion that well I'm sleepoholic and I guess I need to work on my addiction. The how remains unanalyzed but the fact that I'm admitting it is supposed to enlighten me to solve it.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

New Laws of Attraction

Just came across this hilarious list of laws that i thought of sharing with my blog readers who deserve a little less nagging :)
  • Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
  • Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
  • Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
  • Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
  • Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
  • Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
  • Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
  • Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
  • Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
  • Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
  • Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
  • Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
  • Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
  • Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
  • Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
  • Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's really ugly.
  • Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it, or change it for the worse.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

A weird winter...

Is it normal to miss winter in February? I remember in a previous post in this blog which i'm totally ashamed of , (so my blog was hacked and it's not me who posted it), i the person who hacked my blog said that i he/she doesn't care about global warming and weather changes and that's it's no big deal...but today i'm forced to deny and apologize on what i that person stated!
I do care about what's happening, and it's totally affecting me and the people around me...
I'm not a winter person, i hate the rain and i hate freezing and having to wear layers and layers so that i look like a snowman who's still freezing... but i do miss it, and i'm not ready yet to leave winter behind me and move on to the next season...

Winter of 2010 forecast : sunshine with few rain drops every now and then

Everything seems lost and disoriented by this schizo weather:

  • Every single time time it rains, we witness a global panic attack on how to drive when it's raining (as if that's something we really need to add to our excellent driving habits)...traffic and accidents everywhere and then the moment we get the hang of it...it's SUNSHINE!!!
  • Nature has totally lost it...since mid January we have the spring flowers blossoming, autumn leaves falling and insects that are supposed to be hiding all winter found everywhere!!
  • You go to shop for clothes and there's not one stand alone piece that looks more or less winterish... it's either missing one side of the sleeves, both sleeves, a stomach cover,etc... you need like 3 pieces to come up with 1 layer of clothes! It's like fashion predicted we're not having a real winter this year!!
  • When it's sunny outside, you don't know if you should go out and enjoy it or pretend it's not happening because you've had enough of it
  • The concept of a storm has totally changed this year, the definition becomes : less sunshine with few rain drops and a bit of wind...a storm doesn't last more than 1 day!! and when it's over you can totally hit the beach...
  • I don't know why in this country we like to stand alone and always be different...the economic crisis hasn't hit here neither the harsh winter that every single country is suffering from...I wonder why skybar and white haven't opened yet!!
It's sad because the outlook of our life is changing...winter is needed by everyone to take a break from the running that usually happens during all other seasons and enjoy the warmth of one's home and those hibernating activities...but you don't get to do them because it doesn't look like the right context for it...Warm weather and sun shows you that you should have the energy to be active while winter gives you the excuse to pull the breaks and do what you enjoy doing most in your own nest...
Lately the moment you hear there's a storm coming you jump from joy, plan a getaway weekend in the mountains so that maybe you get stuck in the snow, or you prepare a cheese and wine evening...or decide you're not going out because it will be raining and you feel like watching a dvd at home...

The thing i used to love the most about February, is the excitement that it's one month away from spring...but haven't we been living spring all winter?!
It's sad when the things you were used to since you were a kid, things you thought they didn't made a difference, change, and then again i say i'm not a winter person, but i like to long for my favorite seasons...i like to miss them, and i like to have each of the 4 seasons since it was one of the things we're proud a lot about in our country...

Hoping it's just a weird winter...and hoping we keep our four distinct seasons.. and i'm already looking forward for next winter!!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Manage privacy...

It’s really ironic how much we care about our privacy, sharing things about us only among our friends while our whole life is currently running naked on the web... I would think twice before adding someone i barely know on facebook, while the facebook administration knows about me more than i know about myself!
The web knows about me more than my best friends will ever know in a thousand years; Google directs me to check what i would be interested in reading and Facebook points out who are the people i know and gives me incentive to contact them! It's really impressive but from another perspective things look really scary. I mean i stopped thinking, stopped memorizing, stopped making an effort to make an extra step since google will do it for me anyway so why bother!
If there's no google reader, delicious and the web browser's bookmarks i wouldn't really know what i'm interested in (yeah again blame it on my memory issues). I admit that with the load of information we're getting daily, these tools are needed yet i don’t know how much we’re become dependent on them to the point that they became part of who we are!

I’m one of those people who rely on technology alot, i save everything online, share the most private things about me with my close friends online and trust that whatever i search for and my browsing trends are part of my privacy rights and are not saved and monitors anywhere... Fact is that they are, and that concept of privacy is a virtual rule!
I keep emailing my friends all day even thought most of the times they’re right in front of me, i follow my friend’s movement on google maps to see how much it would take us to meet, rely on calendar reminders and facebook to remember birthdays and appointments and rely on my phone to withdraw money coz no way on earth i’d remember my cards security code! Yet i'm still considered a basic user, since i still keep some aspects of my 3D life!
I sometimes wonder what would happen to me if facebook ,MSN and google closed...i'll be mourning my friend's list, my life's data (and my blog of course) and i wouldn't know how and where to start over! And i should be glad my phone device is still functioning coz at least i'll keep some clues about who i am and what i need to be doing and who my friends are!

I’m not trying to create this rage against the machines idea, (the web world is what i do for a living after all) but i’m starting to have trusting issues in the relationship here! It’s changing our human nature in a way that i forces me to wonder how things would be 10 years from now! With 10 years worth data about me, google will start to tell me when i should eat and when i should use the toilet!
Maybe we should take a step back and reconsider and evaluate how much we should maintain and keep from the human to human relationship because the LOL generated on the web is nothing like the actual meaning of the abbreviation in 3D... and the sad face you send on MSN (even though i love and it's so cute) doesn't really bring any reconciliation to whoever your sending it to!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010


You're sitting in a pub with your friends, and suddenly a plan for an amazing trip comes up! You shout "yeeeey" in the middle of the place filled with excitement and then it all exponentially goes away because you remember the traumatizing fact that you need a "visa"! As much as this trip would be the most exciting plan you ever planned for, you still prevent yourself from getting too excited about it because fact is, you're Lebanese and getting the visa is like winning the lottery; chance plays a big role.
For almost 2 months, the idea of getting this Visa was more than a paranoia issue, i want to start planning, i want to get excited but all i'm trying to do is keep my feet on the ground so that i don't get too disappointed.

And the quest for the visa starts...

You have to be prepared, you have to know all the answers and all the places you're planning to go visit and which sandwich you're gonna pick up from the street... You gotta know which roof you'll be sleeping under so a road trip and backpacking around a country is not designed for you.

And you have to show you can afford it, which makes sense but since you need to apply several months in advance, well maybe your bank accounts can't speak for themselves yet and you need to start saving much earlier.
You should find ways to show you're not a terrorist and specify in an application that you're not planning to do any terrorist activity.
You have to look for people who would certify the reasons you're visiting and you need to be well prepared with evidence that you're not planning to do anything abiding by the law in the country you're visiting.

Then the real nightmare "fun" begins, you take an appointment which can be set after a couple of weeks, and be grateful if it was the second day.
When the appointment date arrives, you spend the night panicking, obsessing about the interview and prepare in your head all the answers to any possible question the interviewer might feel like asking.
You put on 3 alarms, ask all the people you know to make sure you wake up, well obviously you cannot take a risk of not showing up on time during the interview.

The moment of truth arrives and you reach the embassy... you wait in line, make sure you do not having anything on you (other than your pile of documents) and you get checked more than 3 times, and you need to explain to everyone why you wanna visit that country.
And then you sit in a waiting room, and you wait endlessly for your name to be called. You could be asked about anything, people you don't know can ask you very personal questions and you have to answer honestly. You have to show you're trustworthy of visiting their country. Sometimes you directly get the answer, sometimes you have to wait for a couple of weeks.
And when they give you a positive answer, you're filled with joy and start jumping and suddenly it hits you that you're actually going to travel. People congratulate you, and it just feels like graduation!

And now you have to hope than nothing interrupts your trip or cancels it because if you get a visa and don't use it then it's a negative point on your record. YOU HAVE TO GO NO MATTER WHAT!

And that's the easy part because what i described above is a happy ending, and just one scenario of more dramatic ones you can encounter in your life, like living with a visa rejection...

I think it's really unfair, i mean why do i have to give evidence of why i'm planning to visit a certain country while its citizens don't need to worry about visiting mine? Why do i have to feel that i need to celebrate getting a visa, when they should be glad i'm planning to spend my money in their country?!
Why would i have to plan for a trip 3 months in advance?
Why would people wish they had a foreign passport that would save them all this humiliation and feel like a normal human being?

And that doesn't end here...you have to hope that your trip goes smoothly and you don't more humiliated just because you're Lebanese. I leave it to a friend's article to explain more on what i'm talking about : HOW IT FEELS TO BE SECOND CLASS


Thursday, January 21, 2010

Update system...

I wish there was something that you can install in your system that sends alerts when a repetitive issue happens which you always handle wrong!Wouldn't it be so cool?? Most of the time we just need a reminder, a voice, an automated behavior that handles situations where we always wonder "why the hell do i keep doing this?".
Most of the time i blame it on my memory issues but it's much more than that...
For example, here's some of the things i wish become embedded in me so that i save myself some irriation from my own self:

In the Morning:
  • When the alarm rings , take it seriously  it and get out of bed… Snooze is not music and an hour and a half snoozing doesn't really make you sleep more!! Each snooze adds a little to that grumpy face you're gonna have in the morning
  • I will not die if I leave the house without having my coffee… I think preparing it is what wakes me up because most of the time I forget to actually drink it!
  • When you wake up early because you planned to go to gym the day before and packed your stuff and all, just get out of bed and go to the fucking gym!! You're not going to sleep more anyway and you're going to be pissed off the whole day because you didn’t!
  • Skip checking your email first thing in the morning…probably nothing major happened between 1 AM and 8 AM … it can wait few more minutes until real people send you stuff and not only spam and ads...
At Home
  • Home appliances do not regenerate... you need to interfere at some point to fix them!
  • The tv remote is not used to help you remember how to count from 0 to 100... going over the channels more than 3 times will not bring in anything interesting to watch...so either put on a DVD or shut the TV down.
  • A pile of clothes on the bed is not decoration…If you put them now in the closet it will save you some ironing later!
In Stores
  • Not every item displayed on a shelf is a necessity and is calling on you! Some things are really not going to be used so don’t buy them
  • Think about how much you want something before you buy it; it will not disappear, cause you death if you don't have it and it will not be the last item produced
  • You don't have to buy at least something everytime you shop!
In the Car
  • Two or three cars in front of you is not called "traffic", so don’t  try taking shortcuts that most of the time hold real traffic...
  • When your car needs fuel, it doesn't really understand that you're planning on giving to it…It's gonna stop at some point so don't postpone..
  • Washing your car is not a yearly ritural...When you start using tissues to open the door, go wash it!!
At the Gym
  • The couch and showers at the gym are not one of its specialities and are not the reason you went there... You can use them after you work out but not before or instead of working out!
  • If you realized you can't make it three times this week, doesn't mean you shouldn't at least go once! It's not all or nothing!!
  • The treadmill will not make you fat, so if u came late to a class or didn't find places then just use it!
So the list is not over yet, not even close... but i'm gonna have to stop now before i hit my head against the wall...

Saturday, January 2, 2010

It's that time of the year...resolutions!!!

I was just contemplating on the idea of whether or not i should think of my 2010 resolutions. so I started remembering my last year's resolutions to see if i can see any encouragements from what i did accomplish last year.

So 2009's resolutions were:
1. Stop smoking : it worked for 3 weeks only and then i went back to more smoking then i used to do before.
2. Gym : Well i don't know if i actually achieved this or not, since some months i go regularly and others i just get voted the best customer who pays and never shows up! (Can i get a point for charity?)
3. Less alcohol : hmmmm ignored
4. Start saving : I'm in more dept this year than i was last year so i guess that says it all
5. Stop postponing and leave everything to the last minute :  When while writing this, i just postponed more than 3 important things i was planning to do so i guess that's self explanatory...

Come to think about if, i guess i failed big time. Not only i didn't accomplish any of those resolutions but i think i made myself one major thing i need to work on this year. When i think about my 2009, and the good moments i had, with friends, at work, family, relationship and on the personal level, 2009 was a pretty good year. Yes there were lots of ups and down but all in all i shouldn't complain. Yet all i did this year was complain. Starts with my blog. I mean i started this blog to share more or less fun stuff, and all i can read is nagging and complaining. (look at me, i'm even nagging about it now)
So that's the only thing i'm gonna focus on this year. And no no these are not resolutions, even thought i decided that on 2/1/2010, yet its just what i can "a decision to change" that happened to start randomly on that day. It starts today and doesn't expire in 2011 (since it's not a new year's resolution obviously)
As for the other resolutions listed above, i'm also not going to put them on my to do list and start stressing out whenever a month goes by. I guess when i'm ready i'm ready. I will lead more of a healthy lifestyle, more gym, less alcohol and less smoking and when will try to be more organized in my life and financially but i wont put a lot of stress on that and mess the rest up!

So in the end, would like to say that my 2009 was a good year, even though i didn't really appreciate it until today, and i'm not gonna ruin this new year like i did with the previous one.
This year starts exceptionally good and will do my best to keep it this way!
And hope that i will succeed with my none resolutions! :D